I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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