We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
