it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
