I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
