How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
