She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
