I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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