Can i not drive my cunt home
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
