No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Randomize
