no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She's not a foreskin expert like you
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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