They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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