Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
