if i died would you start the facebook group?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
