She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My ass is underappreciated
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
