My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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