Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
