I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize