I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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