He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
