just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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