You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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