Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
dude i'm inner monologue high
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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