I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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