You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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