I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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