We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize