Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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