My nipple is on Facebook.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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