yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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