Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
