The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
