I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You smell like stripper and shame
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I could fuck to npr.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
