Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
