We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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