Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
