I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He better not be in your backpack
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize