So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
