dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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