paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
