I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
