I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
