All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Randomize
