I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
