I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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