i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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