I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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