gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
