Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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