i wish my penis had a tongue
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Floor bacon is actually really good
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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