I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
