naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
