kristin has been a bad kristin
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
