so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
