When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
