He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize