i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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