The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
